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Sexual Wellbeing

This is the ability of individuals to have a happy and healthy sex life. It includes all aspects of human sexual contact from sexual thoughts, masturbation, penetrative and non-penetrative sex, and through to orgasms.

Sexual health addresses the physical, social and mental wellbeing of individuals in relation to their sexuality. Respectful interaction and consent from all participants will likely lead to a pleasurable experience that is without abuse, discrimination or violence.

Love

Background

Sex happens and it always will. So had it been since the beginning of time and its methods remain fairly consistent. It could happen as a result of one individual conducting sexual acts on themselves, or it could be two or more people coming together to derive pleasure by exploring each other's bodies, especially through the sexual organs of their anatomies. The common objectives for sex include:

  1. To start the process of reproduction

  2. As an expression of affection and intimacy for a chosen partner

  3. Casual derivation of pleasure

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Sexual Wellbeing describes a number of issues including the physical hygiene that is desirable for good sexual relationships, the sexual orientation variants that are possible and that must be recognised, the sexual organ varieties that exist, the methods used during sex and most importantly, the tolerance and acceptability of the methods of engagement by all participants.

 

A significant percentage of people worry that they have problems with sex, and they want to have 'normal sex' like everybody else. Alas, there is no such thing as a universally normal method of sexual engagement. Methods vary with age, tribe, location, religion and every other classification methods that humans use. 'Whatever you enjoy sexually, somebody somewhere will think is disgusting, and whatever completely turns you off, somebody somewhere will find the most exciting thing imaginable'. (Gayle Rubin)

 

One should endeavour to have sex, either with others or not. We are here because some individuals had sex, and it would be insincere of us to criticise such wondrous acts of procreation and pleasure. The ever-evolving modern world attempts to lessen the established joys of sex, and the younger generation happily cuts through the very branch of tree that they sit upon; this is not anything to be concerned about and people who appreciate sex should continue in their acts. This anti-climactic dis-libido can only be transient. 

 

For great sexual wellbeing, remember the pearls:

  • Make time and space

  • Communicate, and discuss each partners's needs

  • Prioritise hygiene

  • Limit the number of your sexual partners

  • Have fun

 

There are myths of sex that you should not believe. Below is a list as highlighted by the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists. These are not correct and you should not make decisions based on them:

  • The only true kind of sex involves someone putting their penis in someone else.

  • Having sex on your own isn’t really sex and it is bad to have sex on your own too much

  • Sex should always involve an orgasm

  • Sex should always start with lots of foreplay

  • Foreplay is for kids

  • Men need an erection in order to have sex

  • Men should always initiate sex and should be in control of what happens

  • Men are always ready for sex and always want it

  • Women rarely want sex and need to be talked into it

  • Men should be able to last all night

  • Women should have sex with their partner otherwise they will lose them

  • All kissing and touching should lead to sex

  • You should never have sex on your own if you have a partner

  • If you fantasise about someone else you’re not happy with your partner

  • If you have had sex with someone once you have to do it again

  • If you have had one kind of sex it isn’t okay to say you don’t want to do that any more

  • Pornography accurately represents what great sex – and sexy bodies – really look like

 

Irrespective of ones' sexual orientation, race, gender or creed, all should have the opportunity to have safe sex and to experience a wonderfully satisfying wellbeing with respect to their sexuality. Good sex should neither be tame nor should it be extremely violent. Sex must always be consensual: it is a criminal act if it is enforced or performed on an unaware person. 

 

Let sex be sex; consented and perhaps a little adventurous.

Impact on General Wellbeing

Good sexual practices is beneficial for the individual's wellbeing

Physical

Draining

Stressful

Healthy

Boosting

Mental

Draining

Stressful

Healthy

Boosting

Draining

Stressful

Lifestyle

Healthy

Boosting

Caution

Things can go wrong in the process of trying to maintain sex, sexuality and sexual wellbeing

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  1. STI - Sexually Transmitted Infections

    • Infections can transmit from one partner to another during sexual encounters. Take precautions, use barriers and discuss symptoms with your medical care giver. Single-person sex is much less prone to STIs

  2. UTI - Urinary Tract Infections

    • The genital passages can easily be infected because of their proximity to the sexual orifices. This is commoner in women because their urethra is much shorter than men's. Wash, Pee and Drink after sexual encounters

  3. Violence

    • The forceful passion of sexual pleasure is sometimes blurred with senseless aggression. This is avoidable and it should not be tolerated

  4. Unwanted pregnancy

    • Plan your encounters and use the appropriate contraceptive methods of your choice

  5. Messy

    • Sex is a messy affair.

      • Physically: Body fluids reach unto others and unto your surroundings. Fingers may be smelly, genitals become wet. Bed linen stains are regular. Anal sex may be accompanied by faeces

      • Emotionally: There may be an anti-climax after sexual encounters. One may feel guilt, shame, embarrassment and vulnerability

  6. Partner not always available

    • It is often that you will long for sexual accompaniment during periods when the regular partner may be unavailable. Good coping mechanisms should be in place. Other partners, if considered, will constitute infidelity in many cultures. This also increases the risk of STIs

  7. Not in open spaces

    • Sexual urges occur rather randomly. Control your urges and adopt a good degree of privacy. Sex in public places is not acceptable in most communities, and may lead to criminal charges

  8. Pain

    • The pleasures of sex may be disrupted by painful penetrative intercourse. Ensure the adequate use of lubricants. Invest time in foreplay to allow your body prepare better

  9. Serious Medical Events

    • Some serious medical problems can occur during the rigorous intensity of sex. It is better not to be overzealous, and indeed to take breaks or ask for a time out if you feel physical or mental pressure. 

      • Brain bleed:

        • Aneurysms in the brain can rupture during intense sexual exertion. This sometimes lead to death

      • Heart Attack:

        • The heart may be overworked and suffer during intense or prolonged sexual encounters. Take good breaks and consider Aerobic exercises to increase your heart resilience

      • Fractured penis:

        • Vigorous thrusting of the female pelvis unto an erect penis pointing upwards (riding position, receptive partner on top) can snap the base of the penis to create a serious medical emergency. The penis bearing male should have their hands on the female pelvis to guide the movement in the most acceptable manner to them, and to register any discomfort before real damage is done. Penis fracture may lead to permanent damage and inability to have further erections.

  10. Tell tale signs

    • Sexual relationships, sex and sexuality all leave tell tale signs behind. Inasmuch as we should all be proud of our sexuality, we should endeavour to manage the story we wish to tell others about ourselves, and the extent to which we desire to show our closely guarded secrets to the outside world.

Benefits

A good sexual wellbeing adds value to life

  1. Individuals often feel:

    • Satisfied with self, partner, and life

    • Appreciated, Joyful

    • Post coital euphoria

  2. They often have:

    • Better sleep

    • Reduced risk of prostate cancer

    • Good feeling of self-worth

Applicable Remedies >

Smiling Pregnant Woman

Further Reading

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